Seitan, or Vegan Wheat Meat

Starting with the easy methods, and working up to making seitan from scratch, I'll outline the diversity of flavor and texture you can get from seitan in your kitchen. Vegetarians should not be resigned to slimy tofu, or rubbery, "fake meat" for their culinary endeavours.

When wheat berries are floured, bran and gluten are often washed off to make white flour. This gluten is highly nutritious and very starchy, making it self-binding. Mixing it straight with water would yield a very dense loaf that's nothing like bread, and a bit like Silly Putty. Cutting it with flours, sugars, and unstarchy powders and liquids, can create a diverse array of savory and decadent proteins for your meal -- experiment!

Instructions:

Combine all dry ingredients, whisk in wet ingredients, and then knead, punch and beat into loaves. Put the loaves into anything that lets water but will keep it bound together -- unbleached cheesecloth works best, though coffee filters or brown paper bags will also work. Boil in a large pot for about an hour, and it's ready to be cooked. Just remember, seitan is ALWAYS better when cooked long over low heat. It should keep for a few weeks without cooking, longer if you freeze it.

Seitan Veal

Veal, the least socially-acceptable but most tasty of animal dishes, is light, tender, and almost cake-like when it's milk-fed and prepared properly. It'd be delicious if it weren't so disgusting. This is an similar approximation (not a copy--food should stand on its own, not strive to be second-best) that works well in stews or entrees. Makes 3 loaves, equivalent to 5 shanks.

3 cups wheat gluten

1/3 cup white flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/3 cup sweet white whine

3 cups water

To see a cooking recipe, check out this Tuscany stew.

Seitan Sausage

This is a dense, heavy and spicy sausage that turns soft enough to cut with your fork when cooked. Makes 3 loaves, equivalent 7 sausages.

3.5 cups wheat gluten

1/2 cup teff flour

1/2 cup white flour

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

1/5 cup sugar

4 tbls of ground fennel seed

2 tbls red pepper flakes

Onion powder, Garlic powder, Sage, Hungarian Paprika, coriander to taste (but go heavy.)

Nutmeg, ground caraway, thyme to taste (go lighter.)

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar

1/3 cup tamari

1 cup water

To see a cooking recipe, check out the sausage I used at Veg Oktoberfest.

Brandy-Sautéed Seitan

This is similar in taste/texture to rabbit or hare. Again, eaiting a fluffy bunny typically comes with a side-helping of guilt and nightmare, but just tell yourself: it's only chaff. I sauteed it with morel mushrooms and served under a cashew-creme sauce.

4 cups wheat gluten

1/2 cup white flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup paprika

3 3/4 cups broth (diy: boil celery, carrots, parsley, sage, thyme and tamari for a while and use the liquid)

For the Sautee

2 cups brandy

2 tbl sage

2 tbl minced basil

2 tbl hungarian paprika

2 tbl paprika

2 cloves garlic